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So you came to say sorry,
But you do it just for glory

To show people you are kind,
You think, you are a great mind

So do it! Tell your lie!
Be an actor! Show you're shy!!

That's your crowd, make your try!
Let them see you, when you cry!!

Speak for nights, full of fear,
That you felt, your death is near

Waking up by your screams,
Say, you die in your dreams!

Give them moments of repentance,
Say you're here with no resistance

Let them see your rotting heart!
Yeah! Lying it's an art!

It's your show, It's your chance!
And I see it, You are in trance!

So do it! Tell your lie!
Be an actor! Show you're shy!!

That's your crowd, make your try!
Let them see you, when you cry!!
Add a Comment:
 
:iconmjmstudios2020:
MJMSTUDIOS2020 Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2015
Wow, I love this poem. Flows with rhythm mixed in makes a great use of a song. <3
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:icondraganthemighty:
DraganTheMighty Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2015
Thanks!
Reply
:iconmjmstudios2020:
MJMSTUDIOS2020 Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2015
I really love it. Your welcome. <3
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:icongoldham92:
Goldham92 Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2014
nice work
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:icondraganthemighty:
DraganTheMighty Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2014
Nice to hear it.
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:icongoldham92:
Goldham92 Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2014
yep
Reply
:iconjimmyroger:
JimmyRoger Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2014
Aggressive!
Reply
:iconoliviathehealer:
OliviaTheHealer Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2014
Excellent!!!!
Reply
:icondraganthemighty:
DraganTheMighty Featured By Owner Apr 8, 2014
Thanks.
Reply
:iconeyirokafou:
EyiRokafou Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
:icondraganthemighty:
DraganTheMighty Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2014
Ευχαριστώ!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
:iconfreshvibes77:
freshvibes77 Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
very good, makes me think of someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the actor, the fake, the fraud, pretending to care when they are only looking to control you, treat you one way in front of others and another in your face to make you look like the one with the problem...brilliant indeed
Reply
:icondraganthemighty:
DraganTheMighty Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2014
Thanks.
I'm happy that people can see most of my thoughts and like the overall result.
Reply
:iconericambm:
EricAMBM Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2013   Writer
Very good. Its very simple, but effective. Nice use of rhyming couplets and repetition.

Also, it reminds of some of my own, like "The World's Greatest Actor"
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:icondraganthemighty:
DraganTheMighty Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2013
Thanks.
Reply
:iconericambm:
EricAMBM Featured By Owner Oct 18, 2013   Writer
no problem
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:icongracrys:
Gracrys Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh, its awesome!
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:icondraganthemighty:
DraganTheMighty Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2013
Really Thanks!
Reply
:iconmaryjayne530:
maryjayne530 Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
nicely done; I especially like the lines: "Let them see your rotting heart! Yeah! Lying it's an art!"
Reply
:icondraganthemighty:
DraganTheMighty Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2013
Really Thanks!
Reply
:icon370wii:
370wii Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow, powerful.
I remember how fake I used to be...
This piece is a must for all fake people to read.

I thank my Lord Jesus for helping me by removing all fake things and lies.
Reply
:icondraganthemighty:
DraganTheMighty Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2013
You are right, when I was writing this in the beginning I had in mind some "great actors", but then I realized that also myself hides "a small actor".
Reply
:icon370wii:
370wii Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah, I used to tell others to stop being fake, and I was being fake lol.
It's very important to practice what is said. I need to make sure I do this always.
Reply
:iconmattvoscinar:
MattVoscinar Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2013  Student Writer

Hello Dragan,

I will be critiquing this piece for #Writingmadefun. Since you don’t have a Premium Membership, I’m going to critique this in a less formal fashion and simply speak on the piece as a whole.

 

The first thing that jumps out to me is that you’ve trapped yourself within the form. What I mean by that is, from reading this, is appears you’re working more to make sure that the couplets rhyme rather than focusing on the content itself. For example:

 

So do it! Tell your lie!
Be an actor! Show you're shy!!

Here, there are a million questions that could be asked. What lie is the “actor” telling? How is it than an actor, who is trying to prove themselves as a “great mind,” shy? Another:

 

That's your crowd, make your try!
Let them see you, when you cry!!

Who is the crowd? What are they trying? If this still has to do with “the lie,” then we still don’t know what they’re doing? Why is the actor crying? Why does the actor want the crowd to see him cry? Another:

 

It's your show, It's your chance!
And I see it, You are in trance!

What show is it? What kind of show are they putting on? Why is the actor in a trace? What kind of trance are they in?

 

I could go on, but I think you get the idea. These couplets are short, quick, and don’t really hold anything substantial for the reader to take out. Deciphering any meaning from this is next to impossible.

 

You also have some rather awkwardly worded segments that are only awkward because you force them into the rhyme. See: “Make your try,” “show you’re shy.”  

 

I think, in this case, you should remove yourself from this rhyme scheme in order to free yourself to showcasing what this poem is supposed to say. I’m sure you have an idea and theme in mind, but these bits are so abstract that, in its current form, it doesn't say much at all. Consider using tools like imagery and thinking about what you're saying to bring out the real message behind this piece. 

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:iconpoeknowsprose:
poeknowsprose Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013
Well done. 
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:icondraganthemighty:
DraganTheMighty Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013
Thanks!
Reply
:icondorroaker:
dorroaker Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013  Student General Artist
lovely
Reply
:icondraganthemighty:
DraganTheMighty Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2013
Thanks!
Reply
:iconchukapix:
Chukapix Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Beautiful!!! :wow: :clap:
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:icondraganthemighty:
DraganTheMighty Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013
Thanks!
Reply
:iconchiharusmoon:
ChiharusMoon Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
yay another Theatre poem!!! :)
Reply
:icondraganthemighty:
DraganTheMighty Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013
Thanks!
Reply
:iconchiharusmoon:
ChiharusMoon Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
ur welcome :)
Reply
:icondraganthemighty:
DraganTheMighty Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013
More than 50 favs!!!!!

Thanks You All!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:love::love::love::love:
:love::love::love::love:
:love::love::love::love:
Reply
:iconbemari:
Bemari Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013
Good poem with good rhyming.
Reply
:iconkhazda:
KhazDA Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I feel like the structure is too rigid for the emotion you are trying to convey. Just a personal opinion. 
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:icondraganthemighty:
DraganTheMighty Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013
All opinions are welcome!
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:iconmonsterintheshadows:
Monsterintheshadows Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013
This is great
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:icondraganthemighty:
DraganTheMighty Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013
Thanks!
Reply
:iconjeimii-chan719:
Jeimii-chan719 Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
nice, you wrote this well.
Reply
:icondraganthemighty:
DraganTheMighty Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2013
Thanks!
Reply
:iconjeimii-chan719:
Jeimii-chan719 Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
you're welcome!
Reply
:iconbloodymary42:
BloodyMary42 Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
I love this! :heart:
Reply
:icondraganthemighty:
DraganTheMighty Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013
Thanks!!!!
:love::love::love:
Reply
:iconbloodymary42:
BloodyMary42 Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
No problem :D
:glomp:
Reply
:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Impressive. :)
Reply
:icondraganthemighty:
DraganTheMighty Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013
Thanks!
Reply
:iconchromeantennae:
chromeantennae Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
No problem.
Reply
:iconkittyblack13:
kittyblack13 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I love how much emotion you put into your words and the connections made through lies and acting. It's so well written. :)
Reply
:iconlara0xm:
Lara0XM Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013
I like the variety in your rhymes.
Reply
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